It’s been a challenging year, life came at you hard. You’ve had some punches to the face, I still see the fading purple and blue bruises. You gave your love to someone and they didn’t, I still see the fading purple and blue bruises on your heart. You’ve had so much self doubt, I still see the fading purple and blue bruises on your brain. You’ve felt alone more often than you should, I still see the fading purple and blue bruises on your soul.
You work hard all day, and drown it all out at night. Avoiding. Trying to drown out the voice in your head: You’re a failure. If you were skinnier you’d be happier. You’re an imposter, everyone’s going to find out. You’re not good enough. You will never be happy. You won’t ever have a family. S/he left me because I’m not enough. Again, you’re just not good enough. And on repeat.
That negative loop soundtrack to your life that keeps playing in the background in your head needs to stop. Right now, imagine the record player in your head, stop it. Take the record out. It’s called ‘I hate myself’ and throw it up in the air, and shoot it with a shotgun, with a big boom it shatters into thousands of little pieces, disintegrating forever. There, that’s done.
So, let’s try this again.
There is a little you that lives inside, and that is young, loving and sensitive. Your little you deserves to be treated by YOU like a little child would be treated. Be easy on it, be gentle, be forgiving, be understanding. Feed your little when it’s hungry, wipe their eyes when they’re crying, and help them up when they fall down. We have such high expectations of ourselves, we forget that life happens and we aren’t invincible. That we have a small scared ‘little you’ in all of us.
So, Dear Little You,
This year I want you to drink wine for breakfast and have cake for dinner. I want you to cry watching romantic movies. I want you to take yourself on long walks at sunset. Little you, buy yourself something you’ve been wanting for a while. Get a massage. Read a good book, or ten. Take yourself to the movies. Set a goal, and work towards it. Cut toxic people out of your life. Unfollow anyone that makes you feel bad about yourself. Look in the mirror and admire your stretch marks, love your curves. Write things you love about yourself, put them in a jar, then pull one out when you’re feeling crappy. Reconnect with your friend that your drifted apart from. Make a new friend. Laugh. Scream. See a therapist. Learn how to say ‘NO’. Don’t respond to their 10pm text, you’re not just a booty call. Or make them your booty call. Learn that you deserve better. You are better. Plant a tree. Build a table. Paint, draw, or just break things instead of making things. Take a trip. Have a staycation.
Whatever it is that you do, do it for you. Do it for the little in you that needs it. Find yourself by spending time with yourself. Pamper yourself. Appreciate you. Get to know you. Flirt with you. You are the real deal. At the end of the day, nothing is promised, nothing is forever, but what we do have is ourselves. If we don’t take care of ourselves no one else will. And if you’re waiting for your fairy prince or princess to come rescue you, then you are for sure setting yourself for mega disappointment. So if you do nothing else this year, do this: Fall in love…with yourself.